‘Twas the Night before XMas (Canucks Style)

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Vancouver,
Not a creature was stirring, the snow too hard to maneuver.
It was an off day anyway, so there was nowhere to go,
Nothing to do but watch game tape and lay low.

The Canucks with two nights off to sit and relax,
Able to focus on things other than opponent attacks.
But how would they spend their short holiday,
Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh?

Not Darcy Hordichuk, that’s for sure,
He tried that once, but stepped in manure.
This rugged tough guy will be inside filling out lists,
He’s suing Law and Order for stealing the names of his fists.

Kevin Bieksa and Ryan Kesler both became dads this year,
So it’s days off with spit-ups and diapers instead of chips and beer.
Both guys are fine with it, they’ve got such deep layers,
Then again they are raising future hockey players.

Mason Raymond will have weights on his ankles but he isn’t sour,
It’s what allows him to reach speeds of 100,000 kilometers an hour.
Surrounded by family and friends, his days are slow and steady,
He knows that if Santa needs a speed boost he’ll have be ready.

Captain Luongo, you can bet, is happier than anyone,
To have a day off from every sports writer under the sun.
Nothing fancy on the agenda, watch some Deal Or No Deal,
Just lying around giving that groin time to heal.

Daniel and Henrik Sedin – insert IKEA joke,
They’ve been getting last minute gifts since we last spoke.
These Swedish twins are packed full of holiday cheer,
They exchange gifts with each other by looking in the mirror.

Pavol Demitra, what with his head so bright,
Might actually help guide Santa’s sleigh tonight.
Riding shotgun with jolly old St. Nick he’ll be tempted to say,
Veselý vianoce do celý, a do celý za dobrú noc!

Kyle Wellwood, there’s just no telling what he’ll do,
In Toronto he didn’t own a TV, apparently that’s true.
That puts watching A Christmas Story in serious doubt,
He’ll have to reenact it as Ralphie – careful not to shoot your eye out!

Good ol’ Willie Mitchell, the jokester of the locker room,
He’ll be visiting teammates in a Santa costume.
No bundle of toys flung on #8’s back,
Big Willie Style carries only lumps of coal in his pack.

Mattias Ohlund is coveting having some time to himself,
He’s busy prepping the guest bedroom by adding a shelf.
A fellow countryman and NHL all-star is coming to stay,
Welcome Mats Sundin the bedspread will say.

Maximums Mats is still back home in Sweden,
Imagining Vancouver as his garden of Eden.
While visions of a Sedin-Sundin-Sedin line dance through his head,
He logs onto Canucks.com and suggests it in a thread.

As the man responsible for bringing Mats to the coast,
Mike Gillis will surely spend this time off as a ghost.
Out of sight, out of mind, free of responsibility,
Planning his team’s playoff push backed by Sir. Louie.

Two days off gives Vancouver time to recharge the batteries,
So that a solid start to 2009 is a whimsical breeze.
Forty-seven games remain for the team to fight through,
They surely couldn’t do it without support from fans like you.

A toast to Canucks fans, the best in the league by far,
Other teams are stuck with duds, while you’re a shining star.
Thanks for being a part of what could be a magical sight,
Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good-night!

Gas Gas Gas

Three words I never want to hear again.  This week was mostly spent on learning CBRN which is Chemical, Biological, Radiation and Nuclear.  We learned stuff like, in a nuclear blast our CADPAT will give us moderate protection (yeah right).  Tuesday was spent all in the classroom learning the theory of CBRN.  Wednesday was getting out gas suits and learning gas drills (changing canisters, masking up, drinking, decontamination etc).   

Then wednesday we did the trial hut.  Boy have I been dreading it for about a year.  Basically we all put on our suits (which are charcoal lined, one piece bunny suits) and walked in 30 degree weather across the base and then went into a building full of tear gas.  We had to wear the suits for two hours before we could take it off.  After ten minutes my gloves were already full of sweat.

First time you go in you were wearing your suit, you did the confidence test (some light PT), changing of canister drill and drinking water drill.  You then went outside, took off the mask and gloves and undid the hood.  You then had to walk into the chamber and when you went in and felt the effects you had to mask up.  First time I walked in I had my mouth and eyes open and took a good five steps in before I felt it.  And then I really felt it.  When the mask was finally on we went to the next room and put on our hoods and gloves and then we had to decontaminate.

This weekend I went to Montreal on Friday/Saturday.  Friday night I went to a casino for my first time with some friends and we mostly stayed at the roulette and craps table.  We also were at the blackjack table too.  On Saturday I picked up two new books (I am Legend and Empire) as I had finished Ender’s Game (also a good book).  I saw the Dark Knight and really liked it.  I also went to this restaurant I went to last year called The Three Amigos.  It is a cool mexican restaurant on Rue St. Catherine. 

We have more more week here in the Mega.  Three inspections and one is a platoon commander’s inspection.  Next week we go to the field for Pre-Vimy which is preparing for Vimy, our final challenge were we get a task, have to write up orders and then execute them while not sleeping for the whole week.

Also, I heard that Matt Sundin was offered $20 million for a two year contract with the Vancouver Canucks.

Now I must go and get ready for tomorrow’s inspection and Maritime Crossing.

More News From Nowhere

Just a couple interesting news stories I picked up recently.

Very recently the head coach of the King, the ex head coach of the Canucks, Marc Crawford, got fired because of the last two losing seasons and with the Kings coming last in the league. More can be read here.

The second story is just idiotic. During a West Van grad ceremony some kid had his head out the window of a car and he hit his head on a pole. He is now in a coma.

A West Van. police officer stated, “It would appear he was seated either on the windowsill, or certainly not in his seat, with his head quite a long ways out of the car and, tragically, he hit a post as the car travelled past.”

Which begs the question, how big of an idiot are you to have your head that far out of a moving car’s window?

The Good Old Hockey Game

As you probably know by now, last night was the final game of the 07-08 season when the Detroit Red Wings beat the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-2 in game six.

Now I am not a Red Wing fan, nor am I a Pittsburgh fan. After the Canucks didn’t make it to the playoffs to decided to cheer for all the Canadian teams that made it, then the west coast teams and finally when they were all out I just picked Detroit for no real reason.

The main reason I decided not to cheer for Pittsburgh was the number of bandwagon fans on Pittsburgh who think that because they have Crosby ergo, they are going to win.

Even the province this morning called Pittsburgh, “Crosby’s crew”.

Showed them wrong, specially after the first two games Pittsburgh had yet to score.

So this is another example of people jumping on the hockey bandwagon. It happens every year that the Canucks make it into the playoffs, then everyone starts flying Canuck flags from their windows.

Sport bandwagon fans definitely are near the top of my annoyance list, along with stupid people and those who tell me what I cannot do.

Superman’s Dead

Recently a pseudo-Canuck, Luc Bourdon died. This was definitely not a good thing, not because he was a Canuck, but because when anyone dies it is never good.

I have never heard of him before and I have been watching almost every game for the last two seasons. This is because he only played for the Canucks a few times. He spent most of his time playing for our farm team, the Manitoba Moose. He honestly, was not the best player on our team, even for a rookie. The Canucks were even thinking of trading him.

Now this post is not about how good he was or could have been, but it is about how Vancouverites always jump on some Canuck bandwagon. This time it seems like everyone “knew” him and everyone seems to be pretending to be so heavily effected by the loss of him. I bet most of these people have never even heard of him a month ago.

Usually I do not see these Canuck bandwagoners till playoff time and we make it, then everyone is flying the flags on their vehicles.

He died in a motorcycle crash and it was probably a bad call on his part. He recently got his motorcycle license, and like most people, he under estimated just how powerful they can be.

Of course now there are people writing into the province complaining how motorcycles are so dangerous (as if they were not before) and they need to be outlawed.

There was one opinion letter that really took the cake though. One guy started his own rant on how sport figures should not be allowed to ride motorcyles or go sky diving, because “…even though there are lots of things in life that can kill you, somethings are just more dangerous than others!”

So if you wish to feel sorrow for the loss of this young player, that is fine, just don’t pretend that you knew him personally.